Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Story of My Life

  Everyone is unique. We have different life experiences, different upbringings, and yes the obvious, different genes. A little bit of each of these are what makes you who you are. They give us our own stories to tell. I remember having to do timelines in class when trying to put events in chronological order. That is exactly how our mind works. We may not remember every single detail, but we do remember the big events in our lives.
  Last year was a year that as much as I want to, I will never forget. At one point, I was hospitalized for a month due to two life-threatening infections. I had three surgeries over the course of about a week and was not very lucid for most of it. These surgeries left me with three pretty significant scars. Later on this same year, I had to go through yet another surgery that left me with an even bigger scar. Being a girl and having visible scars is a very hard thing to get used to. I spent a lot of my time trying to figure out how I could hide them or at least make them less noticeable. Recently, I saw an interview on Chelsea Lately with model, Padma Lakshmi. About halfway through the interview I noticed a long scar on her right arm. I googled her and found out that she had been in a really bad car accident with her parents when she was really young. Instead of me paraphrasing the entire interview, here it is..
  Seeing Padma on Chelsea Lately, to me, was like a little nudge from God saying, "Be proud of your scars. They have made you the person you are today". (They do say that he works in mysterious ways). My mother sent me an email once that had an amazing poem in it about what it means to be a good woman. My favorite part of this poem was, "A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love." I don't try to hide my scars anymore. Maybe one day I will show them off but I do feel like I am finally becoming the woman that I have always wanted to be. They are my timeline. They are the story of my life.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Beauty of Silence

Lately, I have been through a few things that inspired me to start writing on a blog. A few of my friends have them and it seemed like a pretty good way to share my own thoughts.

In everything I do lately, I try to find the positives, even in bad situations. Recently, I was faced with a few of my own character flaws, or what I used to think were flaws. I'm not the wittiest. I'm not good at "on-the-spot" things (I like to be able to think about things before I answer). I often have a hard time thinking of the exact words to use to describe things. If I get into an argument or heated discussion, I often walk away from it thinking, "I should've said.." or "I wish I would've thought to say..". I used to be incredibly shy when I was younger because I was afraid that I would say or do something and then people would make fun of me because maybe it didn't come out the way I intended it. I think I have carried a little of that with me as I have gotten older. As a culture, we base a lot of our relationships on the depth of conversation we have with someone or how entertaining the other person is. But, isn't it just as much of a plus if we can just sit with someone, in silence, and be comfortable with it? Today, I was driving, alone with my own thoughts, and I started thinking about the topic of "silence". I have always loved my quiet time. It's a time when I reflect on past events, daydream, and think about life in general. In today's world, it seems as though the beauty of silence is a thing of the past. Technology has led us in the direction of ubiquitous sound. In conversation, everyone dreads the awkward silence because either party feels as if it should be filled with something audible. But what's wrong with silence? To me, if I can sit with someone in silence and be totally comfortable and relaxed, isn't that more of a blessing? Falling in love with someone because of the conversation is great, but falling in love with the mere presence of someone seems to be a gift from God. This is not just the case with romantic relationships. Friends or family members that are able to make you feel better with just their presence alone are angels. Never take them for granted. Silence is rare, get used to it!

I would love comments or thoughts about this topic if you have any!